Books come into our lives at different times for different purposes, sort of like friends. And like friends, some have a great impact and stay with you forever. Here is a list of five books (aside from Sacred Scripture) that have changed my life. It is not a reflection of the five best books out there, or even the five books that you must read. Just a list of the five that have most influenced my life. I invite you to share five (or at least one) of your own.
1. Feeling Good: This book is a companion to those who suffer from depression or anxiety, but really there is a lot of practical advice in there, which I believe everyone can benefit from.
This book allowed me to see how my thinking patterns were ruling my life and my emotions, especially when I would start to feel down. My thoughts would spiral: “Today is a bad day. That clerk wasn’t nice to me. And that guy didn’t stop for me to cross the street. I guess no one can see me. They don’t care. Nobody cares. I’m a nobody and nobody cares if I’m even around. I should move. To China. Or Anchorage. Or just go to work and live here and not care about anyone else…”
Yes! Hard to believe isn’t it, but that was my mind. And when I would get sad, that’s exactly how my thoughts could turn. Until Feeling Good brought me to a new way of thinking. Extinguishing the lies and replacing them with the truth:
First initial though: “Today is a bad day.” New thoughts: “Is it really? Why? Just because a clerk wasn’t pleasant and some guy didn’t stop for you. That doesn’t have to make it a bad day. You don’t know why the clerk was a jerk or the guy was inconsiderate. Maybe they are suffering. Maybe he didn’t see you because he just wasn’t paying attention. It doesn’t justify their behaviors, but it can help you understand. You didn’t do anything wrong in these instances. You are seen and you are loved. Why just yesterday Jessica called to tell you she was thinking about you. And last week mom sent you that card with the newspaper articles. More importantly, you know you are a child of God and really that’s all you need. Hey! Why don’t I do something nice for someone else now!”
See how that works? And this book helped to teach me that. Amen.
2. How to Talk so Kids will Listen and How to Listen so Kids will Talk. This book came into my life when I was working with youth as a Director of Religious Education. But it really helped me when I moved home and found myself surrounded by fourteen nieces and nephews. It helped even more when I found a position where I was helping a family who had just adopted eight siblings. The children needed to become acclimated to their new life. One of the children that I particularly spent a lot of time with had fetal alcohol syndrome. And he was a handful. The first four short years of his life were troublesome; in and out of shelters, being around adults who did drugs, etc. My little friend would have frequent outbursts and rarely listened to directions. Learning to speak with him with attentive listening was so helpful. There is a way to be firm in discipline with love. I’ve seen it in action and it works! I worked with this child for 1.5 years before moving out east. His mother is an incredible educator and she taught me quite a few techniques in handling disruptive children as well. When I stopped in for a visit three years later, this child was well adjusted, kind and even polite! What a transformation. Thank you Faber for giving us this tool and the very helpful illustrations!
3. Story of a Soul. What can I say about this treasure? It certainly becomes a best friend and every time you read it you come away feeling refreshed, renewed and spiritually energized. And you have gained a little more insight into living a life of service in the everyday activities. Spiritual or not, you can gain wisdom from this book. The author, St. Therese, was proclaimed the greatest Saint of modern times by Pope Pius X. She is also one of three four women to hold the honorary title of Doctor of the Church. Although she didn’t write extensively and spent her years behind a cloistered wall, this little lady still brings fresh roses to our world today.
4. The Life God Wants You to Have. When I was going through yet another episode of ‘What am I supposed to do with my life?’ a dear friend recommended Dr. Popcak. I looked him up, researched his material and stumbled upon this book. There are probably thousands of books out there designed to discover your purpose in life. I’ve probably read a dozen or more of them. But this is the number one that I recommend. And it’s not a guide as to jotting down your passions and finding work that collides with said passions. It’s more of a journey into your own heart, your past, your childhood loves to unveil what is probably right before your eyes. Working my way through the pages, I came to a realization that I somehow missed in my years of desperately trying to figure my life out: I am meant to write. It’s the one thing that I’ve enjoyed doing and have consistently done since I was nine. Now I am on my way to turning my life purpose into a way to keep my financially afloat. Am I good at it? Eh. Will it allow me to generate some income so I can afford my dream house and vacations to Tahiti? Currently it generates about enough to pay my water bill, for a week. But now I finally KNOW what I want and can work towards that goal. I may need to continue working other jobs until one day I am able to sustain myself financially through the words I type. And if I am never a published author, at least I am enjoying the ride.
What are you waiting for? Go and find the life God wants you to have!
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
5. Are You My Mother? Yes, that’s right, the children’s book by P. D. Eastman. I recall reading this as a child at the bank while waiting for my mom back in the 80’s. This book is a basic philosophy of belonging. It’s important to know where we came from and who we are made from. We all need to belong and to know we belong to someone. Our mothers are the ones who first give us life. In this children’s classic, the little bird faces him self and the world around him asking an assortment of animals, ‘Are you my mother?’ The little bird sees that he is not like the others. They look different. And have different capabilities. He is a bird. He has wings to fly and a beak. He is not a fox who can run or a fish that can swim. He comes to know who he is, what he is made for, how he is different from others and to whom he belongs. Isn’t this true for the spiritual life? Are not these the same questions we ask in life, “Are you really God? Was I really made in YOUR image and likeness? Am I truly made for love?” This is the heart of ‘Are you my Mother?’
16 thoughts on “Five Books That Changed My Life”
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I also owe a debt of gratitude to “The Feeling Good” book. I suffered from nearly debilitating depression when I was in my 20s but refused to go on anti-depressants because I detested the idea of them. I eventually found the “The Feeling Good” book, read it, and did the written exercises that it prescribes. Within a week or two I began to feel better and my depression lifted entirely within a month or two. I have never since suffered any depression. If I ever start to fall into a depressive state, I do the exercises and it snaps me out of it.
Funny that you mention “Are You My Mother,” because the first book I ever read was also the first book I ever loved, and it too was by P.D. Eastman: “Go, Dog. Go.” I’ve never reflected much on its substantive content. I just always have loved its vibe, and the illustrations. The “Dog Party” at the end captured perfectly my idea as a child of what a good time would look like.
As for authors of grown up books, I have long thought there is one way to tell if you truly love an author, and that is if you have read all the author’s books and wished that that author had written more. Two authors are in that category for me: Joseph Ratzinger and Flannery O’Connor. I also think “The Leopard” by Giuseppe de Lampedusa is a profoundly moving book.
Dan! I LOVE Go Dog Go. I know it might sound ridiculous, but I think that book is brilliant. I debated including it in this list, but Are You My Mother had a bit more substance for me. 🙂 But Go Dog Go is one of my favorite books to read out loud to kids. The voices you can exchange between the dogs is classic, ‘Do you like my hat?’.
Glad The Feeling Book helped you so much. Living a life free of anxiety and depression is true ‘living’. I recommend it a lot. Those brain exercises can be good for everyone really. Thanks for your comment.
This might sound weird but I am going to say the Catechism of the Catholic Church. First of all it probably has the greatest footnotes of any book in history. I mean when you are being backed up by the Word of God, the Fathers of the Catholic Church and Councils of the Church…..can’t get much better than that. 🙂 For example here is a random passage…..paragraph 1065 page 276…..
Jesus Christ HImself is the Amen. 648 He is the definitive Amen of the Father’s love for us. He takes up and completes our Amen to the Father. “For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why we utter the Amen through Him, to the glory of God. 649
Through Him, with Him, in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is yours, almighty Father, God, for ever and ever, AMEN.
And the footnote 648 takes you to Revelation 3:14. True it can get a little dry in spots but overall some really beautiful writing about Jesus Christ and His Church. If one can’t get through the whole thing every Catholic should at least read Article 3 The Sacrament of the Eucharist which goes from paragraph 1322 to 1419.
On that note I will say that the most recent actual book that changed my life would be Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist by Brant Pitre. In my lifetime I went from kinda believing in the Real Presence, to believing in the Real Presence and then after reading this book to falling on my face believing in the Real Presence.
Beautiful reflections Johnny! I, too, have been on that Eucharistic journey. You say it so well, ‘falling on my face believing.’ Amen!
Its literature for me. My 2 “go to” books that I have read numerous times to chew all the meat in them are Sigrid Undset’s “Kristin Lavransdatter” trilogy and Dostoevsky’s “The Brothers Karamazov.”
The Kristin books I compare to “The Story of A Soul,” though Kristin, unlike St. Therese, sins deeply and repents as deeply. The books follow her through her entire life, and all the choices she makes, in medieval Norway, ending with her death in the convent. All because she chooses the wrong man to love….
Dostoevsky’s book is said to be “the Gospel of St. John, if that Gospel had been lost to us.” Yes, its heavy and Russian, but the characters are so human and fallible (like me!).
Both books have such Christian wisdom in them, about who God is and how we approach Him, and the characters ability to accept suffering (usually after fighting against it for some time) is a reminder to me that there is a bigger plan than mine.
Dostoevsky is quite brilliant. He made the list on my ‘favorite authors’ poll on my homepage. 🙂 I am not familiar with Undset, thanks for mentioning her, I will be sure to look into her writings.
Thanks for the comment!
And the absolute best translation of Kristin Lavransdatter is by Tiina Nunnally.
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For me, it was “The Mind of God” by the physicist Paul Davies. It isn’t a Christian book and it will not speak to everybody, but at the time I read it I was having serious doubts about my atheism but still was not sure. This book confirmed my doubts, and demonstrated from some serious logical arguments that atheism is every bit as ludicrous and improbable (perhaps even more so) as belief in God. It helped me to come to belief by giving logical reasons to reject atheism.
I love how God can work through anything to reach us!
MUST READS:
1) A Catholic Bible (I prefer the RSV-CE, large print);
2) “Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition”.
“….. let us ask ourselves if we have actually taken a few steps to get to know Christ and the truths of faith more, by reading and meditating on the Scriptures, studying the Catechism, steadily approaching the Sacraments.” Pope Francis, May 15, 2013.
Additional are:
1) “Manual of Indulgences” 2006, USCCB;
2) Diary of St. Faustina, Divine Mercy in my Soul;
3) “General Instruction of the Roman Missal”;
4) Through Death to Life (preparation for Catholic Funeral Mass – OF).
Great choices, it sounds like you might work for the church, I don’t know too many people who read the GIRM! 🙂
I’m glad you mentioned Through Death to Life, I didn’t know about that one and someone was just asking me about Mass readings and music for funerals. Thanks for commenting!
Don’t work for the Church. A revert who tries to help others by answering questions accurately; but thanks for the thought.
Lucia dos santos’s memoirs on the apparitions in Fatima. The book of this collection changed my life. Also Come Be My Light, about blessed Teresa of calcutta
Come Be My Light is a spiritual treasure for sure. What a gift she has been and continues to be to our world. Thanks for the comment!