When God Wants Me To Love Him In Another Way

“I know how to be humbled, and I also know how to abound. In any and all circumstances I have learnt the secret both to be filled and to be hungry, both to abound and to be in need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” — Philippians 4:12–13, WEB-BE

Given the chance, I’d have wanted to love God in a certain way

I want to love Him while I’m happy and able to accomplish much for Him. I could reach many people and love them. I could spread the good news of His love and let everyone know about Him through the joy and warmth of my presence. Maybe I’d visit many people and let them know someone cares. I’d talk to people and keep them company, I’d let them know they are not alone.

I want to love Him while I’m free. I’d travel the world and marvel at the beauty of nature. I’d see His glory everywhere and praise Him for all the wonderful things He has done.

I want to love Him while I’m healthy. I’d be able to write books that inspire many. I’d have the energy to pray for people and serve them.

But sometimes, God has other plans

And He wants me to love Him, not in ways that I prefer, but in ways that He is making available for me.

He wants me to love Him even when I’m suffering and sick. Yes, He wants me to love Him in times when I feel I don’t even have the strength to do the simplest things.

He wants me to love Him even when I’m confined. In that small space where I dwell, in that limited space where I feel suffocated and stifled, He wants me to love Him.

He wants me to love Him even when my eyes are filled with tears. Yes, even when I weep and my heart is torn into a thousand pieces. He wants me to love Him in the midst of my sorrows.

Many were the times when I thought I could love Him more if only I were happy, healthy and free. But He showed me that love does not depend upon those things. In fact, I may love Him even more during those times when I feel that I’m most incapable of love. Confinement, sickness and sorrows need not lessen our love. They could even deepen it, and through those difficult moments, our love is purified as gold.

“I have come to understand today that even if I did not accomplish any of the things the Lord is demanding of me, I know that I shall be rewarded as if I had fulfilled everything, because He sees the intention with which I begin… My part is to love Him to folly; all works are nothing more than a tiny drop before Him. It is love that has meaning and power and merit. He has opened up great horizons in my soul — love compensates for the chasms.” — St. Faustina (Divine Mercy in My Soul, 822)

This post was originally published on Single Catholic Writer

Photo: Ulrike Mai, Pixabay / PD-US