On September 16, 2017, I boarded a plane bound for New York City. I had lived in Colorado my entire life and believed it was my home. Leaving it broke my heart, but a force stirring inside me said I needed to go. As much as I loved Colorado, Colorado didn’t love me. There was nothing for me any more and I had to move forward to a new place. Deep down in my soul I knew it was the voice of the Holy Spirit, telling me to move to New York. I had convinced myself that God had a glorious plan for my life. The only reason I agreed to follow the Lord’s calling was that I trusted He would provide everything I wanted–a husband, a job, a “happily ever after” essentially. What I got was unlike anything I could ever have imagined.
At first I struggled; none of my assumptions came true. Instead I endured hardship and loneliness, but God put me through these conditions so I could eventually detach myself from every single piece of this life I held onto and attach myself to Him. Moving to New York was the first “yes” I gave to Jesus Christ. Back then I thought that all I had to do was say “yes” to Him once, and after that everything would fall into place. The truth is I have to say “yes” again every single day and with each “yes” I give more of myself to Him. The good news is that each “yes” gets easier; moving to New York was definitely one of the most difficult ones.
Allowing the Lord to have full control of my life is affirming that God knows more than I do. To my surprise, He really does; my journey transformed me so much and though it is a journey I never asked for, it has turned out to be the best journey I could ever take. This is because the journey was made with Jesus Christ beside me every step of the way. I always had the presence of God in my life through baptism, first communion, confirmation, etc. I believed I was doing all the right things to make myself a good Christian and Catholic. In reality, I was a good Catholic, but I wanted a relationship with God, I wanted to talk with Jesus, and I wanted to fulfill the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Now, four years later, God asked me to leave again, but instead of sending me to New York, He asked me to return to Colorado. After all the detachment God guided me through, I thought my story with Colorado was complete, but my ways are not His ways. God need me to detach myself from my home in Colorado. I could no longer look to Colorado to satisfy the love a home can provide. Jesus showed me that home is not a place, it is Him. This time I could return to Colorado without relying on it to give me anything. This time I went there to give to Colorado in going about my Father’s business.
Returning to Colorado was the beginning of my true walk with Jesus. We are living in a fallen world, which has been consumed with the enemy’s lies. The world today resembles the world in which Christ lived. Jesus combatted the evils of the world, saving one soul at a time. He asked His apostles to travel through the world and share His word. If they were welcomed, then they could stay and speak the word, however, if they were rejected, they were to shake the dirt from their sandals and move on. Our world needs such disciples again. The word of God can change one person or one family at a time. I know God is calling me to that kind of life. I am not meant to stay still nor am I meant to stay silent. The Holy Spirit has given me words that need to be spoken and places I need to go. I have said “yes,” and now am free to follow the path to wherever Jesus Christ wants me to be. The Holy Spirit has words that need to be heard and they will be heard.
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Originally published at Kitty in the City
Photo: Public Domain
