We would like to share an excerpt from Sophia Institute Press entitled “My Days with Benedict XVI” by guest writer Monsignor Alfred Xueres.
I would like to speak briefly how the book was born: from the very first day I arrived at the Pontifical Apartment, full of emotion, Pope Benedict showed me his paternal style with which he made me feel welcomed in my new role and in the “pontifical family”. He took interest in me as a person, and in my cultural and native roots. He asked questions about my studies, my seminary training, as well as my family. He also wanted to learn about some traits of Maltese traditions, and, in particular, those related to the Christmas and Easter seasons. I remember that he was very intrigued when I told him that on Christmas night the children of the catechism classes parade in procession with the statue of Baby Jesus singing and creating an atmosphere of jubilation. This tradition was initiated by the Maltese priest Saint George Preca, and it still arouses heartfelt devotion to the mystery of the Incarnation of the Divine Word. I also told him about the boy’s sermon, learnt by heart and recited in our churches before the start of Midnight Mass. I recounted to him about many other religious and cultural traditions, and he listened with pleasure.
On his part, he loved to speak about his childhood in Bavaria back to the time he was in kindergarten, with the fascinating story of the visit of St. Nicholas to their class; anecdotes about his family, including his parents with their simple outlook to life, his brother Georg, also a priest, with whom he had a very special bond, his sister Maria who looked after him in Rome in the first years of his service as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, and who, suddenly passed away after a tiring journey to Bavaria in order to honor their parents’ grave on the remembrance of all the faithful departed. From his stories, one could perceive the great mutual affection in which he grew up, and the joy occasioned by the small musical concerts organized at home by the Ratzinger brothers every Christmas. He also spoke openly of the years of his teaching in the various universities in Germany, and of the start of his academic career. One time he recounted to me the day when, going to the tailor to have his suit made and to buy a professor’s hat, he was mistaken for a pupil, due to his young age, and refused, leaving the shop, disheartened but without any complaint from him. There were many anecdotes concerning his close family friends in Germany, of which he kept happy memories and which he loved to revive with us in moments of intimacy.
Over lunch, he willingly shared some details of the morning’s meetings during the audiences, and he showed admiration towards those bishops facing many challenges due to local conflicts and poverty.
These recollections seemed so beautiful and significant to me that I felt the need to write them down in a notebook, as in a diary, so that they would not be lost. His many anecdotes were then embellished with various quotes from speeches, homilies, and messages that His Holiness articulated in the eight years of his luminous pontificate. These are pages that are meant to be an expression of deep filial affection and gratitude towards Pope Benedict XVI, who never ceased to be a seeker of the Truth at the service of the universal Church.
Therefore, even if the cover of the book bears my name, its real author is Benedict XVI himself. I have done nothing special, but faithfully transcribed the words and thoughts, apart from those covered by papal secrecy, in their simplicity but also in their depth of meaning and significance, which he chose, with enormous generosity, to pass on to us privately, as well as those he spoke publicly as Supreme Pontiff. It seemed to me a duty to share publicly the touching stories that I had the privilege of listening to directly from the mouth of Pope Benedict in moments of fraternity. I thought that the details of the conversations at table on ordinary days, the delicate attentions for the people who served him closely at different times of the day, the very unique relationship with his brother, the atmosphere of Christmas Eve in the intimacy of the small family of the pontifical apartment, as well as witticisms, his love for animals, together with songs and childhood memories, will help to better discover the human and spiritual profile of this great man and appreciate more deeply his quality of Shepherd.
The original book, written in Italian, has been translated into a number of main languages, which will be published in the near future. I was flattered when the reviser of one of these texts confided to me that he had come to know Benedict XVI in a new way, much more beautiful than he had hitherto perceived. In fact, the main purpose of my publication is this: while I do not pretend to impose my idea and image of Pope Benedict on anyone, I would simply like to say to the readers: “Here you are, this is the man I had the privilege to know!”.
It is not intended that, by the end of reading the book, readers will have discovered confidential information affecting the historiography of a pontificate. Rather, the purpose of the book is to reveal the sensitivity and mannerisms – and therefore the soul – of a pontiff, whose public image is only known mostly in a partial way, if not distorted by inevitable simplifications or misconceptions, uninformed or otherwise.
Among the events recounted in the book, I could not but include the intense moments at the time of his abdication, lived with admirable inner peace, fruit of his intimate union in faith with God. It is my wish, with this publication, that the decision to abdicate from the pontificate appears in the right light. It was not, as has been heard, a lack of courage. Instead, it was an act of great love for the Church. I experienced firsthand the audacity of this decision, and I can bear witness to it. I am aware that mine is a small contribution, but also that it has value in its authenticity.
Every time I visited Rome in recent years from Korea where I have been serving as Apostolic Nuncio, I made it a point to visit him at the Monastery where he lived in his retirement for about ten years, and each time, I sensed the gradual failing of his health. But the sweet gaze and expressions of affection, with which he welcomed me up to the very last time I saw him, on September 12, 2022, when I found him waiting for me in the living room sitting in an armchair, will remain forever in my heart.
I lived his agony in recollection and prayer, asking God to assist him in those sacred moments of his long life. When the news of his death arrived, I felt the certainty that there was a great celebration in Heaven and that Our Lady went to welcome him at the door to bring him closer to her son Jesus, whom he had served with wisdom and humility. During the Mass, which I celebrated a few moments later in one of the parishes in Seoul, where I was serving as Apostolic Nuncio, I encouraged the faithful to ask for graces through the intercession of Benedict XVI, because we had another saint who prays for us from Heaven.
I hope that the positive tone and the atmosphere of serenity that emerge in the stories contained in the book, enriched by a substantial photographic collection, offer a pleasant reading, and spur us to imitate humanity, simple and rich at the same time, and the Christian virtues of Benedict XVI. His legacy will remain precious over time, and his authoritative and never trivial thoughts will continue to be a sound reference for many.
I conclude by expressing heartfelt thanks to Sophia Institute Press for agreeing to publish my book in English and to take care of its distribution with their usual professionalism and dedication. Thank you all.
Author Bio – Msgr. Alfred Xuereb
Alfred Xuereb is a Maltese prelate of the Catholic Church who has been the apostolic nuncio to both South Korea and Mongolia since February 2018. He previously worked in the Roman Curia and was a private secretary to Pope Benedict XVI from 2007 to 2013 and to Pope Francis from 2013 to 2014.
