I have always been a hopeless romantic. I grew up holding many romantic notions in my mind and heart, always dreaming of the day when I would experience a grand romantic gesture in actuality. I remember several movies and TV shows glorifying high school relationships, and when these relationships became serious, the boyfriend would give his girlfriend his letter sweater or jacket as a sign.
Well, my high school years have come and gone, and I never was the recipient of that romantic exchange. I can’t say I was too disappointed — after high school, many of those romantic notions were forgotten, and I filled my mind and heart with different hopes. The Lord never forgets the hopes and dreams of Hos children, however, and little did I know of how He planned to fulfill mine.
My grandfather passed away a few months ago, and because of the COVID-19 pandemic, my family has been unable to give him a memorial service. I thought I had been “okay” with not letting this affect me. Deep in my heart, I knew the Lord was in charge and everything happens for a reason.
One night I came home, and my mother told me she had a presentation to make. The way she said this got my attention; I was suddenly aware that what would happen next would change my life in an unexpected fashion.
She pulled an old blue letter sweater out of a packing box and told me it was my grandfather’s from high school. The sweater brought me back to every moment I had spent with my grandfather. As I took it from my mother, all I wanted to do was embrace it. It occurred to me that I will never be able to hug my grandfather again. The last time I saw him was Easter of last year. If I had known that would be the last time we were together, I would have hugged him a lot longer.
As I stood there hugging his sweater, I realized I had not had the chance to say good-bye, and that hurt more than I thought it would. I took a deep breath; the sweater still smelled like him, and I inhaled every last bit of memories of my grandfather that I could.
I now have my letter sweater, not because of a romantic gesture, but because the Lord gave me a tangible belonging of my grandfather’s to hold onto when I can’t hold onto him. Of course, my grandfather will live on in my memory forever, but the sweater has special significance. It provides a way to bring out the memories I shared with him, and every time I miss him, I can hug (or even wear!) that sweater.
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Originally published at Kitty in the City.
Photo: OC Gonzalez, Unsplash /PD-US
1 thought on “The Letter Sweater”
Sometimes tangible mementoes of a loved one do help us during a time of grief. Your grandfather was passionate about sports throughout his entire life, so his letter sweater is truly meaningful as a remembrance of him. May it comfort you along with the Lord’s assurance that your grandfather is in a better place and that he will be looking forward to that day when the two of you are reunited in that heavenly realm.