Trusting and remaining in life’s moments
Luke 9:11-17 : Feeding of five thousand (NRSVCE)
When the crowds found out about it, they followed him; and he welcomed them, and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who needed to be cured.The day was drawing to a close, and the twelve came to him and said, “Send the crowd away, so that they may go into the surrounding villages and countryside, to lodge and get provisions; for we are here in a deserted place.” But he said to them, “You give them something to eat.” They said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish—unless we are to go and buy food for all these people.” For there were about five thousand men. And he said to his disciples, “Make them sit down in groups of about fifty each.” They did so and made them all sit down. And taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd. And all ate and were filled. What was left over was gathered up, twelve baskets of broken pieces.
In my Ignatian contemplation of the Gospel, I was among the crowd, but close enough to Jesus and his disciples to hear their discussion.
The two suggestions to send the people away or buy food to feed everyone were prudent to me. I would have suggested the same. After all, five loaves and two fishes were certainly not enough. As part of the crowd, I did not mind finding food for myself. I saw some people leave upon hearing the discussion. But I stayed.
I was shuffled into a group of fifty strangers who were friendly and welcoming. But I observed more people leaving. They were either skeptical that there would be sufficient food, or reluctant to dine with unfamiliar people. But I stayed. I chatted with the people in my group while relishing the portion of bread and fish we were given to share. We were all happy that night.
As I sat with the scene, I wondered why did not I leave, what made me stay.
It was hope.
Having heard Jesus’ teachings and witnessed his healing in the day, I was hopeful that he would make a way. On a practical note, I did not leave because that would mean waking up earlier the next day to reunite with the crowd in time if I wanted to continue journeying with Jesus. I continued to stay because it was life-giving to share in meals and conversations with people, probably more meaningful than having a sumptuous meal by myself.
At any juncture in the scene, although there were good reasons to leave, a reason to stay presents itself. It was a reminder to me that Jesus always desires and draws me to stay with him. The choice to stay or leave is ours. I cannot say that I choose to stay all the time. Sometimes I stray too. But it is a reminder that by staying, I receive life. And whatever graces given and received will always be enough for the moment.
To find out more about Ignition contemplation and how to pray it, visit:
1) https://thejesuitpost.org/2021/10/jesuit-101-ignatian-contemplation-encountering-god-through-our-imagination/
2) https://www.catholic.sg/ignatian-contemplation/
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Illustration: Jejesarts
Illustration kindly contributed by Jejesarts. As a gifted artist, Jess expresses her prayers and intercessions through colours and drawings. If you would like prayers, or would like to find more of her artwork, connect with her on Instagram @jejesarts.
