Stewing in Humiliation

Sometimes we are called not only to experience humiliation in order to be sanctified, but we must stew in it for the reality of our sin to sink in. If we too quickly seek to alleviate such reflection of our failures we forget too quickly the impact they’ve had in our relationships, and our relationship with Christ.

There are two types of stewing, one is healthy, the other is not, and both are uncomfortable. Guilt is the first stew, where we marinate in the hurt we’ve caused others. We feel their wounds as if they are our own to the best of our ability.  It involves listening, and regret and the hope for healing. If we have been prideful, it also involves having a less lofty sense of our capacity to do what is righteous, and that we need God to restore us, and help sustain what He’s restored.

The second kind of stew that is unhealthy is what St. John Paul II calls “Inordinate shame.” This is not a place where our humiliation is transformed into humility, but rather self-preoccupation. We are wounded by our sin not because it wounds others and God.  There may be several reasons we enter into such shame, such as seeing ourselves through the anger of others and fear losing favor with men for self-serving reasons. We may feel as though we are worthy of no love, and simply throw ourselves out. This is best described as the filth to which the prodigal son remained in prior to his conversion.  He had yet to come to terms with the murderous nature of asking his father for his inherence, passively suggesting it’d be preferable that his dad was already dead. 

In the end we all must spend some time in mud, but let’s make sure it exfoliates our soul rather than poison it.  When we are ready to be washed clean and made new, we leave it behind, having been changed.

Photo: Public Domain