We Don’t Belong

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. This I command you, to love one another. “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

-John 15:16-19

From the first moments that we understand what friendship is, all we want to do is to belong. We want a best friend, no, we want a whole score of friends. We want to be seen as special, we want to be liked, we want to be popular, we want to be important for who we are. As we grow a little older, that desire becomes stronger and yearns for another. For some that means the love of another person, and for some it means for the love of God and His Church. Regardless of the form we just want to belong. We want to be just who we are and be loved for it. The more the merrier.

The Struggle

So we spend a good portion of our childhood and into adulthood doing things that make us feel that belong-ness. We want to belong so badly that it starts to define us in a way that we can’t explain. It seems that if we could “fit in”make us whole. It seems that if other people accept us, our worth is proven. We are some how better when we fit in.

At the same we are growing and learning in our personhood we are also maturing in our faith. We are learning about sin, morality, love, virtue, and God. We are growing as spiritual people rooted in Christ. As we grow in the world, and the world happens around us a peculiar thing starts to happen. As we try harder and harder to fit in, we start questioning those things that motivate our desires and actions. We start realizing that our faith and our quest for virtue seems to be pulling in the opposite as that of that other desire. We start finding it harder and harder to fit in because the things we need to do to fit in don’t seem to match up very well with the things we need to do to honor God and to walk a virtuous path.

So for a while we struggle with trying to reconcile the two. It is the part of the movie where the music is all bubbly and crazy. We run this way  and that. Of course we can be Catholic and still do that… we aren’t uptight weirdos. We start justifying things in our mind, sin is a malleable thing, virtue is being better than most, and the measure of our goodness (whatever that is) is measured by how well we are loved… by people.

The Moment

Then it happens. We have one of those pivotal life moments where we live our faith in a very real way. It’s the part of the movie where the music slows down and a haunting voice which is somewhat distant starts to echo and where the violin and harps kicks in. This moment is different for everyone, but it is this moment where we first realize that our faith is important in a very real way. The moment where we catch a glimpse, out of the corner of our mind’s eye, what the martyrs and saints felt. It is then that we start to realize a rather horrifying reality. It isn’t horrifying because we can’t stand the sight of it, but because it makes us realize in an instant how much time and effort in the past we wasted on fruitless pursuits. It is at that moment that we start to realize that we don’t belong. We are not of this world.

The Reality

Look, Jesus told us that we would be hated. Not only that, but he said big deal, He was hated first – and He was. So, in a way, the fact that we are hated, that we don’t fit in, shouldn’t come as a shock but should be a comforting sign. It should tell us that we are probably on the right path.

We are in a battle, a spiritual war for the salvation and damnation of souls, so we shouldn’t be surprised that people are shooting at us and picking sides. You can’t be victorious without an enemy, and you can’t have an enemy without being hated. This hatred against us is a sign that we have offended those that we once tried to belong to, we have essentially told them we don’t want what they are selling. In a way they have a right to hate us… and so be it.

As Catholics we have to be counter-cultural. We have to live in the world, but not be of the world. We don’t belong, we never will, at least not until the Kingdom is here on earth. This is fine, we shouldn’t shed tears, we shouldn’t long for that which we want but shouldn’t have, because there is something better. This was the reason we weren’t supposed to eat that apple, but we did and so we made it hard on ourselves. But we have a loving and merciful God so we get what amounts to a second chance.

So as you read other posts on this blog that talk about all the things we need to do to fit in and be good Catholics, realize that outside of this VirtuousPla.net, such things will only make us hated. We aren’t made for this world and so the things that make us good Catholics make us horrible earthlings. They always accused Jesus of hanging with horrible people. He did it to prove that what was important on earth has no affect on spiritual gravity.

So take heart… we don’t belong. If you think your faith will make you unpopular, so be it. Let it happen. Embrace it. I know these are easy things to write and hard to live, but that is precisely why I am writing them. I struggle with this every day. Whether it is with friends, or even fellow Catholics. We want to be liked and embraced. But let us put away such thoughts and embrace the path of Christ. If we do that, we know where we will end up… naked, bloody, beaten, and hung on the sins of others. So walk that path, embrace it, and make it your goal. We don’t want to fit in, and we surely don’t need to fit in…because we don’t belong.

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Joe is the author of Defend Us In Battle.