“So why did you pick me for your sponsor?” I asked my brother, following the instructions the Director of Religious Ed had given during our last Confirmation preparation meeting.
My brother squirmed in the pew. “You, um, know a lot about God, and you go to a lot of church stuff, so yeah…” Zing! A moment of humility. The DRE had said the Confirmation candidates had written beautiful reflections about their sponsors and that’s all my brother had come up with?
I smiled anyway. “Cool. Thanks. I’m glad you asked me.”
My brother followed the script and next asked, “What’s it like being a sponsor?”
“Scary,” I replied, making us both laugh.
The requirements for sponsors are pretty simple. According to the General Introduction of the Rite of Christian Initiation, paragraphs 8 – 10, one must be:
- at least sixteen years old and
- baptized and confirmed and received the Eucharist
- living an upright life
- No penalties (e.g., left the Church, etc.). Therefore, a Catholic who has left the Catholic Church cannot be a sponsor, and cannot be a “Christian witness” if they join another Christian communion.
Although I fit all these requirements, I know I must seriously conform to “living an upright life.” If I’m to lead my brother in the next stages of choosing the Church for himself, I need to be a worthy guide. Dante had Virgil; my brother has…me? Gulp!
I take being a sponsor seriously, and that’s why it’s scary. For the rest of our lives, my brother and I will have this additional connection that is not just a familial bond. He’s seen the worst of me: cranky, angry, sobbing, and worried. I have to hope he’s seen the best, too, since he asked me to be his sponsor.
The materials I’ve received have not listed what a sponsor does beyond attending meetings and the actual Confirmation with their student. Here is my personal list of ways to act as a sponsor:
- Pray for my brother more deeply than I have before, encourage him on the path to holiness and true manhood in Christ, and help him avoid pitfalls and sins.
- To do that well, I have to be the best-version-of-myself (as Matthew Kelly calls it). I need to grow in holiness daily and be a woman who can bring others closer to Christ.
- Attend Mass with him.
- Invite him to talk about faith and ask him questions instead of lecturing.
- Share my Confirmation experience and Confirmation saint (Hi St. Bathildis).
- Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and open dialogue about it with him.
- Pray a novena to St. Benjamin (his confirmation saint) together before the Confirmation.
Have you been a Confirmation sponsor? What are your suggestions for guiding a newly Confirmed Catholic in the faith? Are there any materials or presents you would recommend for a teenage boy? Please share! And please say a prayer for my brother!
3 thoughts on “Dante had Virgil; My Brother has…Me?”
My boyfriend was an awesome confirmation sponsor for me, but there’s one thing that really sticks out in my mind. The weekend we went on our confirmation retreat with the rest of my class (about two months before being confirmed), he presented me with a stack of papers/cards. He had asked several of my friends (practicing Christians, some Catholics fallen away, some also in RCIA at other parishes), as well as my parents and his parents, to write me letters of encouragement. It was really amazing; it’s something I believe his parish had confirmation sponsors do when he was growing up.
What a good idea, Allie.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at this. I’m in the same boat, sorta. Except I’m also the DRE and the youth minister on top of being a sponsor. These are still great tips. I will be sharing this with my Confirmation Coordinator. Kudos!